None of us will ever fit in and it’s okay.

Human beings are unique.

It’s one of those things we often hear, but I don’t think we fully understand.

Everything from who our parents are, to the combination of genes we got, to where we were born, the financial situation at the time, the random time a dog chased us as a child, to the first time we ever used the internet...

These things and more, define who we are. Although we hardly have control over them.

Another interesting thing about human beings is that we’re social animals.

We like to live, work, and spend time in groups and communities. Instinctively, it is who we are.

An important part of that social nature is how we decide when to include or exclude people from our groups.

Let’s start with how we decide to exclude people.

When humans have decided that someone is an outsider, there is nothing anyone can do about it.

They will go to the ends of the world to find a reason why you’re different. They will dig into your genealogy to find a reason why you’re different, and they will dig into your soul to find a reason why you’re different.

It doesn’t matter what you do. They will find a reason and they will dwell on it.

It doesn’t even have to be a difference that makes any sense. Not at all. It could be the silliest of things.

I’ve seen people exclude others for being poor, I’ve seen others excluded because they are rich.

I’ve seen people excluded for going to a good university, and I’ve seen people get excluded for not going to university at all.

I’ve seen people exclude others for the most stupid reasons!

It doesn’t matter what you do.

People will find a reason why you’re different once they’ve made up their minds.

It’s ironic.

It’s ironic because we have established that everyone is unique so there are a thousand things that can be picked on as a way of alienating/excluding anyone from anything if you set your mind to it.

When this happens to you, remember that it’s human nature and everyone is unique so none of us will ever truly fit in, but it’s okay.

In sharp contrast, I’ve also noticed that when it’s convenient, humans will align over the smallest similarity they can find. Suddenly, differences seem minor and dissimilarities don’t matter anymore.

People will unite with anyone over their shared love for a sports team, they will unite with anyone over their favourite TV show…

And when they can’t find anything in common, people will unite over our shared humanity.

When this happens to you, remember that it’s human nature and all of us can fit in, and it will be okay.

Thanks to my friend Faith for editing!